


Help me to see my true colors.

by ThrasherArtist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Growing Up, M/M, My First Destiel Fanfic, SPN - Freeform, Slow Burn, Supernatural - Freeform, colorblind, destiel as children, destiel au, destiel growing up together but separated, in big design, it isn't actually an au, my first destiel fanfic in english, supernatural sci-fi au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 05:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThrasherArtist/pseuds/ThrasherArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a futuristic world people see only black and white until they fall in love. Castiel is twelve years old and he is a kid with dreams of the past world, the real world, the world beyond the barrier. He wonders a lot of things and he wonders what colors are like. His parents are strict and he doesn't realize that there is a whole universe outside: the only thing he sees everyday it is his perfect city and trains, flying away. And then there is Dean:a mysterious guy which overturns the Castiel's entire worldview by showing him the world out there: forests, animals, death and happiness. Two children growing up together and not together,similar and different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there, my dear readers. I have to say something before you start reading: it is my first fic in English. I guess, I made a lot of mistakes and I've forgot a lot of commas. Don't hate me. I had this story in mind for a long time and an entire book is there,inside my brain. It is very hard to write it down,tho. Feel free to correct me. I hope,you like it. A big hug.

**Chapter 1**

_Castiel_

Castiel looked at the mirror and he wondered which color his eyes would be. Their grey was a shade brighter than everything else was so they had to be very, very light. His granny loved to say that they were blue but the child did not know what the blue was. His father once has explained to him that it was the color of the sky and of the water in a quiet day. It has to be beautiful but Cas has never loved before and so he couldn’t see the confirmation with his own eyes.

When he was younger, he heard the legends of people who love art from an early age and they were able to paint and write using the colors as if they saw them really. They did not need love but only themselves and he envied them.

It was his sixth year of school and he learned that Earth, centuries ago, began to deteriorate. The men did not know how to love and even if they loved, they were not sure it was true love. The diseases prospered as well as abandoned children and families destroyed. It was the evolution to create another defensive mechanism. If a person would lay his eyes on the love of his life, the nature would reveal all of her colors. It is said that at this moment, everything explodes and the eyes hurt for weeks. Before, things were not this way. At home, everybody had at least a couple of old books, full of legends and novels dating back to the Third Middle Age. They spoke of a simple life where people met and then parted and the people you love could pass next to you without notice. In science’s lessons, he has learned that the retina and its three-cone photoreceptors in children are atrophied. Dysfunctional. When a likely partner comes near you, sensors enter into action. All the senses increase visibly .A nervous shock happens and it reaches the eye and turn the cones of the retina together with sticks. It was a rational scientific explanation but that does not explain all children prodigies, those who were able to see since the day they were born. The elderly liked to see a note of mysticism in the evolution. In the old days, that simple scientific factor was seen as a divine miracle.

Castiel was an intelligent child and he was fond of ancient history. He knew of the early Middle Ages when the people could be burned just because of red hair and he knew the second Middle Ages that lasted for centuries with the persecution of Jews, blacks, homosexuals. Nowadays none of these words longer existed. He found it inconceivable how anyone could be persecuted for love. In a pansexual world where Church no longer existed and the majority of children were born through artificial insemination some preconceptions were no longer valid. He also was wondering who were the Jews and the blacks. Judaism was related to the religion but what set them apart? And the blacks? Is it a shade of skin greyer more than the rest? In his class, there was Alexander, a very dark child, but apart from the gray tending to total darkness, nothing distinguished him from the others.

 Cas knew he was lucky but he was also a dreamer and so he envied those dark times. Secretly he believed that the dullness of existence is due to the perfection that civilization has achieved. Before, people had the ideals for which they could fight, they also had to fight for their rights and suffer but at least their world was alive since birth and they would not have had to spend at least the first twenty years of existence to wonder what color are the trees. Then, what is a color? Castiel imagined them as some kind of emotion. Sometimes in dreams, he could glimpse glimmers of warm light but in the morning to remain was just a faded and bittersweet feeling.

A small howl and the sound of nails on the door brought the child back to reality.

"Jack!" – He ran to open the door. A beautiful fox flashed inside, greeting the child happily. It was still a puppy, with a long tail and the shiny hair. A clever nose with his tongue out approached the armchair and with a jump that could not be described otherwise than as high and elegant, sat. His birth certificate described him as an exemplar "strong, with gray fur tending to silver, orange ears. No diseases, docile, perfect for kids. "

The boy loved him with all his heart. It took thousands of years to domesticate the fox but it was worth it. The specimen was originally from Eurasia, whereas when states still existed, was situated Russia.

"What do you say, is it the time to see what the weather is like today? If you come with me, I’ll give you the biscuits that you like so much! Let's go."

Jack, comfortable on the chair, lazily opened his eyes to the word "cookie". Reluctantly he decided to trot behind the child, who was heading for the window to the left of the bed. He has activated the door with the light touch of his fingers. It has slipped, opening the view of a large garden. The apples and the oranges surrounded the perimeter. A small fountain with benches around it was located under a willow tree.

The edges of the garden were made of glass. Novak family has been lucky to have the apartment below the level of the clouds. The 249th floor of condo-town London. From the glass we could see the other condominiums nearby and wherever came the eye there were green forests with silver threads of the railways. Trains in the distance appeared as thin arrows green and blue. If only the boy could see the colors ... His heart would explode. The dawn was rising over Europe. The trees from thin leaves silver, gold, green and red shone under the first rays of sun. The towns were of a pale green color and the solar panels were drinking energy and bringing light everywhere. Within the residential buildings there weren't any animals but looking outside you could see the little wolves, tigers and bears moving in the wild forest. It was their territory and the man rarely enters there.

 

 Wherever there was life and the clean streets smelled of fresh, lighting many fountains and celebrating the arrival of spring.

Like every morning, he would eat a sandwich in the elevator or the escalator as he descended down to the exit where the shuttle train was waiting. He loved the coffee in secret but Amelia, her mother, would never allowed it. She was strict but fair, a bit conservative and purist. In his family there were a few relatives born artificially, few same-sex couples and some nostalgia for medieval practices. None of them was opposing to such practices simply it worked well this way. And the coffee for a twelve-year-old child was not included in this vision.

However, the traditionalists were sent to school and Castel was grateful for this. More and more children were studying at home. It was more convenient and faster. But it would be harder to make friends, and Cas loved Megan, Michael and Balthazar. They had met six years ago and since then it has become easy to go to school. Not that before it was not. A computer was calculating your ideal program and hours were spending to study with earphones. The teachers were always available but their figure over time has become almost superfluous. Sure, he could read in class and they had some philosophical discussions. Our protagonist worshiped these discussions. They spoke of the past and the future, books, music.

His penchant for literature and history made him level up to advanced course in English and Traditions of the second Middle Age. He could listen for hours old music and his friends often teased him for this. Also no one watched the movies in 2D but he kept doing it. In his room, he had a "computer" dating back more than 300 years ago. Maybe it was the last to be able to play movies in the old way. It contained a large film library with films in black and white, blurred film, silent movies. It had been one of the most precious gifts although none of his parents understood the utility.

Megan and Michael were at the advanced course in mathematics and Balthazar studied art. It was nice when everyone was in the 4D environment and sometimes they exchanged glances just before the hour runs out. The long pauses were passed in the courtyard. When it rained, they set under a porch near the distributor of snack foods. Castiel there could greet his older brother, Gabriel. He was now in the eighth grade and he was studying universal law, despite being the object of his studies serious, the guy was not at all.

It was a beautiful day and after school, the kids would be headed to the coast. Five minutes by train, half an hour by the electric bike. Castiel loved the solitude of the beach, the silence and the spring’s waves beating into that cliff. There was a place, well hidden among the trees that was only his. There were no skyscrapers, shuttles and railways; there were only him and the wind blowing strong among the treetops. The child usually would lie down on the sand and stare at the sky, while unable to see really. The colors flowed slow to become black streaks in the sky at twilight and this was the time when Cas felt old, tremendously old, as if he had lived a thousand lives and saw many faces, all the same.

He closes his eyes, clenches his eyelids and his fists and feels the pulse of the forest like it has life of its own. The barrier was so close: two steps and he would pass over, to the world of hunters and animals, the old houses of stone and wood. For the world of the city, those were only distant voices, echo of a dying civilization that was about to become extinct but it continued to exist. Every once in a city you could see the people from "over the fence". They were simple men who work as hunters or as the guards of the forest. Amelia would never allow his children to approach them. "They are strange people" - she said.

Coming out of school Castiel did not know yet, that he would meet a boy from over the barrier on the beach, a guy who will be part of his future dreams for years of adolescence, maturity and old age. He did not know yet, but the world now seemed clearer, as if it would be enough to push a button and the colors would come to life. Blink of an eye and this restless feeling flew off, getting lost in the wheels of his bike.

 


	2. Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's life isn't simple. His brother Sam is leaving to study in the city and his only company will be his father John. He wanders around the city he hates, and he gets lost. A new meeting is on the way.

Chapter 2.

_ Oh, the quiet silence defines our misery _

_ The riot inside keeps trying to visit me _

_ No matter how we try, it's too much history _

_ Too many bad notes playing in our symphony _

_ 30 Seconds To Mars \- Hurricane _

Dean

The morning has never been a beautiful part of the day. Not after the death of Mary, at least. There has always been a before and an after. Sammy was more fortunate, since he never knew the kindness of a mother's hand that puts the cookies on the table and pats her children. Not that you could call it luck but _to know it_ was fucking painful. The Dean's memories are always covered in that veil of unexplained sadness, which was hiding behind his eyes, in the corners of the smile, behind the strands of unruly hair. His greatest fear was forgetting: the time is intolerant and merciless. When he was younger, it seemed natural to remember. Like her mother, Dean was a sighted; his memory was in possession of a clear image of his mother’s blond hair, Sam’s the red cheeks, the color of in the fireplace. And the laughing in the morning ... These images were of a pale pink color, with flashes of red, full of family’s warmth.

Since Mary was gone, the sight of Dean was obscured, each color lost the light: there were only shadows of childlike clarity. Looking at a tree, he could remember that its leaves are green and the sky is blue, but in the reality the tree stayed gray. The feeling of things’ duality sometimes drove him mad. John loved his children but he could not help it: the pain had changed him as well. From the cheerful boy who managed to win over Mary has left nothing but an echo. Dean knew that his father was trying to avoid him because the child reminded him too much of the late wife; in the old photos, one was the other's copy. 

Sammy was different, he was free from memories but this did not spare him the heavy atmosphere that has taken hold of the Winchester family. Dean now was twelve, Sam was eight. Since the minimum age for children to be able to study in the city was of eight years old, Sam took advantage of it. To be so young his determination almost like adult’s one frightened Dean. The boy would always see his brother as the covers between mom's arms. The farewell was not heartbreaking because the barrier was only half an hour by car and they’d seen each other on weekends but the elder brother was scared to death by the possible absence. Since Dean had memory, Sam has always been in the house, Sam was one of the reasons why Dean decided to study at home. 

It was the morning of departure and suitcases were ready, put out by the door. For once, Sam looked scared to leave. He and Dean were sitting together on their beds, side by side. It was spring and the forest outside of the courtyard’s protective line shone.

"What color is the wood today, Dean?"

"It's green, Sammy."

"How is it green?"

"It's cool ... I begin to forget it. My eyes are green. And the grass is green. The sky is blue instead. I just remember the blue. "

"Thanks, Dean."

A conversation like this took place almost every day, at dusk and dawn, when it snowed, and when it rained. Sam was the only one who dared to ask his brother how the colors are. It was considered bad manners. Especially in the cases of those who have lost their sight. Not that Dean had many friends who might disturb him with similar issues. In the woods all the houses were far apart.

Only the idea of Sam alone in the city made Dean shiver. Like most of the hunters he did not like the city’s people. It was not about the wealth’s difference. The Winchester’s place was in the woods since forever. The Winchesters were born and died there, their graves were covered with green moss and then they disappeared into the trees. No Winchester has ever lived in the city and Sam would probably be the first to want to do it voluntarily. If Dean didn’t love his little brother so much, he would have considered it a betrayal. John would never let it know but something in his eyes was off after a quarrel with his youngest son during when the latter declared his desire to join the people of the city. It happened a few months ago.

"They see us as animals, Sam! As strangers, when **_we_** are made of the same stuff, the same blood. I do not understand what motivates you to leave "- spat out his father.

Dean was silent on the ledge all the time of the dispute. The last true memory that he had of their mother would have gone with Sam. It was common knowledge that it was the eldest son to look like Mary but Dean was able to catch sparks of maternal DNA in the corners of Sammy’s smile, in his way to make faces, in the side of his cheekbones. It would be like losing someone again, metaphorically speaking. While growing up in the city, he will be indoctrinated; nothing will urge him to return to a life in the woods.

A life that was not so unusual. The existence within the city was a beautiful lie; life outside the barrier was the truth. It is the only teaching that John Winchester could offer his children and for Dean this rule has become a mantra, the only thing that mattered. He studied history and he knew why the society was the way it was. He has been in the city and he saw the skyscrapers. But the citizens did not know of the noises in the night, they did not know how easy it is to die. In addition, the forest was not so wild. They had the shops, the bars, the streets, too. The Winchester’s house was large and had a big garden where the brothers spent most of the time. Like all houses, because of the law it was surrounded by that hateful electric wire which was used to "protect" them from the night forest. Dean hated it like everyone else. The hunters were the remains of a colorful world, where the fate belonged to the people and not to a scientific body function and not to the edge of a fence.

"Sammy, skyscrapers are a lie and you know it!”

The brothers were now in the car, flying along the coast, towards the entrance inside the barrier. It was a beautiful day and the sun was high. The shining water was of a lighter gray than usual: not much was missing to summer. The John's lips were tight in a thin line. Dean has never resembled his father so much as at this moment: the arms of both were crossed in an offensive position.

"I know what Dad taught us, Dean! But I want to live it! And not just on the Internet. I love you but I want to know other children like me ...”

"So I'm not smart enough for you."

"You are my brother, it's different" - Sam was exasperated. He was really smarter than average and the life in the woods troubled him. The Internet should not become the only source of friendship that he could have. Dad and Dean were so different from him; they believed in the cause, "people of the forest vs. the city people" but Sam found it very stupid: the conspiracy didn’t work for him.

The autopilot with gentle voice warned that the arrival to the gate is in five minutes. John eventually decided to utter a word: "Dean, say bye to your brother at the gate; I leave you in town so take things that you need forstudying in the store, I don’t want to waste time and stay here a minute longer. Meanwhile I carry Sam to settle then I take you back. “The boys exchanged a look of respite: they would not see each other for another month.

When the time to say goodbye came, they both pretended nothing extraordinary was happening, but Sam shook his older brother with more force than usual and Dean came off the embrace earlier than usual.

"Goodbye, little jerk."

Sam smiled as a response and got into the car. The door closed and Dean was left alone in the middle of the sidewalk. He had to buy a new e-reader and he was glad not to come to school; it reminded him of when four years ago he also wanted to come to study here. He would never admit it even to himself, it has become a taboo subject in his head. But Sammy was only four years old then, and alone with John, as gloomy as Winchester father was, paranoid and moody child would grow.

Shrugging of the gray thoughts the boy was absorbed in the urban landscape. The streets were still bright as when he saw them for the first time, the trees had grown, but they would never become as high as in the heart of the forest, where the trees were centenarians: not like these, taken care of each spring. On the streets not a lot of people were seen; the kids were still likely in school and adults are to work. Dean did not know many professions of the city. There was the mechanical engineer, then the supervisor of the automatic pay in stores. Sammy wanted to study the universal law. Finishing college in ten years he would become a lawyer. Who knows what they did- lawyers? Beyond the barrier these professions didn’t exist.

Without noticing, Dean was on a road leading to the beaches, apparently he was lost. He had to go to the center instead he took the opposite direction. The streets were all gray and alike; this area was differentiated by a strong smell of the sea. It was still early so the boy went on. While wandering, the streets became narrower and less populated. He began to think about returning back but once turning another corner he found himself in front of the sea.

It was a small beach with many trees that fight between them to win the fertile soil. Towards the water, there was a strip of sand and you could see a little boy lying, staring at the sky. Not wanting to disturb Dean sat on the nearest rock breathing in slowly. The coast was not near his home, and John will take children only once in a while. The look of the young man slipped further and further and noticed right away: the hateful barrier was also present here. It was on the border of the residential center and its annoying glint detracted from the natural and peaceful atmosphere, here it was an element out of place. 

The boy with tousled hair in the meantime stand up, approaching the barrier from the opposite side. It seemed that he wanted to touch it and Dean gasped. He jumped two meters at a time to stop the boy by the arm. Only after doing so, the hunter realized that he had touched a snob of the city. He expected insults or dazed looks, typical of his visits here. Instead, the boy slowly turned and stared at him. He had big eyes and messy hair. There were grains of sand stuck to his trenchcoat, too heavy for the season. Dean had to blink for a few seconds: it seemed to _him to see the blue in this boy’s eyes_. Not a fake blue, belonging to the memories but a cool blue, full of novelties. The feeling was gone soon as it came, and the situation became even more embarrassing as Dean continued to keep guy’s arm.

"That's how my mother died, because of the barrier. **_Never_** touch it. "- The words just flew out without thinking. Dean let go of the stranger, repenting for his own actions. The latter, withdrawing his hand, managed to say: "But I come here often and nothing happened." His voice, deep for such a young boy, was a bit shaky and hoarse. - "I'm Castiel, Castiel Novak. I live nearby. Who are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally continued. I can hardly believe I did it. I had a creative block due to the university! Let me know what do you think of the new chapter. The tone of the narration changes but because here we are with Dean, it’s his world and we are living the city from his point of view. More mysteries to come but also more answers. :) PS: What do you think about the idea of hunters? You want them to hunt only animals or something else?  
> Kisses to everyone!


End file.
